Children’s communication methods and the ways in which they solve problems gives us insight into their inner worlds

CIU Faculty of Education Academic Staff Assoc. Prof. Dr. Çağla Gür, drawing attention to the importance of monitoring young children, went on to state, “Children’s communication methods and the ways in which they solve problems, is a reflection of their inner worlds. All of these provide us rich information in relation to their developing personality and their communication with their environment”.

Explaining that some parents want their children to be in the position of a passive, non-commenting and non-questioning child in the home, Gür elaborated, “However, when their children are in the position where they are constantly directed by their friends, they understand that something is not right and they feel uncomfortable about it”.

Giving information in relation to the behavior displayed by children, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Gür continued, “For example, children who are aggressive to their friends in their attempts to get what they want, gives us the clue that they have not developed their social problem-solving skills”.

Stating that children who lie to their friends or take things from them to be in the forefront could mean that they need love and attention, Gür underlined that children who are directed by their friends, who cannot do what they want, constantly doing what their friends want in order to not be friendless, is a child who experiences difficulties at the point of expressing themselves.

Discovering and developing children’s interests and competencies is important

Advising that especially children who are left behind and who are constantly directed by others, need to develop themselves, feel valued, in fact, they need to have individual time with their families and be listened to, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Gür went on to say, “It is important for the interests and competencies of these children to be discovered and developed”. Stating that in some cases, these children do not receive a sufficient amount of attention, Gür advised that in some cases, they are over protected, and due to all their decisions being made by their parents, they have learnt to be passive.

Pointing to the necessity of observing children well while they are in the process of interacting with their friends, in order to understand the problem and to develop strategies, Gür expressed the importance of an effective parent-child communication, instead of telling the child off to intimidate them, to listen and to find common solutions, in order to for the child to express themselves better.

Drawing attention to the fact that some children do not wish to spend time with children of their own ages, Gür noted that when it comes to children that prefer to be alone, attention should be paid to what they have experienced with their friends.

Expressing that it is necessary to have effective communication with children, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Gür added that in place of accusations, instead being constructive, and by establishing a reason-result relationship, and finding common solutions, will establish a quality parent-child relationship, that is important in the child’s development.